on aging

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age is just a number, right? and while i totally agree with that, i fully admit to struggling with the idea of getting older.

please don’t get me wrong, i am wonderfully happy with where i’m at in life. if i look back on the last 10 years, i can honestly say that i like me better now than i liked 24 year old me. i am more confident, more at ease, more comfortable in my own skin. i love harder. i understand myself better, i allow growth without trying to change by force. i have a greater perspective on what is important, what should be protected or what needs to be set free.

i don’t mind saying that i’m 34.

yet some days i have a hard time coming to terms with the lines that are forming around my eyes, the increasing number of gray hairs, and the faint age spots that are gradually appearing on my hands and face. ugh. that’s when getting older really sucks. when the mirror reminds me that i’m no longer fresh and wrinkle free.

but i have already decided that i don’t want to cover up the fact that i’m aging. i don’t want to color my hair or botox my face, lift or laser anything. if i’m going to do this life then i want to wear it proudly as a badge of honor and crown upon my head. that’s not to say that i won’t ever curse the crow’s feet, but it does mean that i am committed to being naturally and authentically me. in all my normal, old lady glory.

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2 thoughts on “on aging

  1. I hear you, sister. I’m 43 and it’s my vanity that makes me crabby about aging. On the other hand, like you, I am SO HAPPY with the person I am now. I’m way more confident, loving and daring than I was in my 20’s and 30’s. I know what’s important and what’s not (or so I think–50 year old me may laugh at that). The bummer is the physical changes like the concentration lines on my forehead or the new cellulite on my bum. I keep reminding myself–nothing a cute outfit and good hairstyle won’t hide–so bring on the outfits and the hairstyles. Funny I’m reading this post the day after I saw the new pics of Renee Zellweger. Man, she does not look like her old self at all! AT ALL! Like, she could take a new name and live as a regular person and no one would know it was her. If that is the alternative to aging, I’ll take aging any day.

    1. i know, i saw the pictures of Renee and that’s really what got me thinking about this. i don’t want to be so scared to get older that i completely change who i am to be forever young. i am like you, i want to highlight the good and downplay the not so good 🙂 yeah, with age comes wisdom and a little grey hair and a few wrinkles aren’t going to stop me!

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